Ryder Cup Tickets

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For Niamh O’Reilly

 

They should have played it in the Phoenix Park
With luminous balls for stragglers after dark
If it was good enough for the Pope and Lady Hazel Lavery
Why not for the rabble of the tartan-trousered gallery

 

And we wouldn't need tickets or passports or Sir Michael Smurfit's permission
To breathe the Irish air
The Furry Glen a well established rest area for the men 
The clearing around the dog pond for the ladies to brush their hair

 

Sir Michael could supply the toilet paper like his father before him
Tiger could drive the zoo
The Irish contingent could practice in the fifteen acres
The Yanks could bitch about the greens as only they can do

 

It could be a national holiday
With employment opportunities for the Moore Street ladies and pick-pockets 
Something truly Irish instead of the proposed circus
Trying to pretend that Ireland is an American place with helicopters, jets and sky-rockets

 

Listowel races are on the same time, the tickets are not scarce plus they’re cheap
You'd get B&B for life in Kerry for the price of a kip in Kildare that week
This sport thing is getting out of hand what with the nonsense of this and Roy Keane in Sunderland
And the saintly profiling of Sir Michael, I ask your pardon;
Blessed are the meek.